Here's to you...

Got It All Wrong…

LaurenKatherine — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 05:48:05 +0000

I rarely think I have made a wrong decision. Something might not be the best decision but I don’t believe in wrong decisions. Life will happen and that is how it is suppose to be. Recent decisions are leading me to a bit of heartache. Questioning everything I have said, thought, felt. Change is happening so fast, so rapidly I can’t warp my head around what is to come. I use to be able to see years and years down the road and now I can barely see the end of this week. I am not sure what is happening in my life. Where I am going. Where I want to be. Who I want to be. Who I am. I have always been filled with answers and now I seem to be in discovery. I never understood how someone could know nothing about themselves and now I am that person. I hate it and don’t know how to handle it. Deep down I know it will all work out. It has to. This has to be right, I know its right, but it feels so wrong.

And I could’ve done much better for you

Yeah I could’ve done much better for you

But you could’ve done much better for me, too

-Wakey! Wakey!

Seal my heart and break my pride

I’ve nowhere to stand and now nowhere to hide

Align my heart, my body, my mind

To face what I’ve done and do my time

-Mumford & Sons

This is my heart on a platter for you…

(sappy, pathetic, overdone, so what?)

An entire day at home

LaurenKatherine — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 05:27:41 +0000

I did not leave my house today. Can’t remember the last time I spent the whole day home without leaving. It was nice. I literally stayed in my pjs all day and cleaned and went through old stuff. I did laundry and went through my closet to weed out the old stuff. I gathered at least 50 pieces of clothing I don’t need, there are more, but I can’t part just yet. I watched some of my shows on dvr, laid in bed while listening to music/thunder and played with Tuscany. I wish I could do this more often, but work takes me out and so does random task.

I like being alone. I think I have missed that not living at home. For 5 years a roommate has pretty much always been home or I’ve been with a boy friend. I have severely missed me time. I don’t really do anything that different but there is something about being the only one that is comforting. I believe this to be a direct result of being an old child of divorced working parents. I have always had ample alone time. When I was little I would come home after school and have at least a few hours to myself. My parents always trusted me to stay alone and would leave me to run errands and such. Once I was six teen my dad would go on business trips and let me stay alone. I grew to truly love being slightly isolated. Many people always have to have someone around. They can’t stand the thought of having to entertain themselves. Hearing their own thoughts and being with themselves. I find peace in it.

i. love. you. forever.

LaurenKatherine — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 04:42:18 +0000

You and I walking slowly. Hand in hand. Footprints in the sand. Watch the wind as it plays. Throwing shadows across your face. The sky was so blue. Your eyes so green. The air glittering. So sudden, so swift. Love came to us. Just like a gift. I lived here, you lived far away. Our lives called us back, no we could not stay. With a sad sort of smile you took my hand. Said while we’re apart you hope I understand that…

You’ll be holding me

And I’ll be holding you

Through those long nights

My love will be pulling you through

When you see the stars

Pretend they’re my arms

When you feel the air

That is me kissing you there

Say you love me

And I will say I love you

No distance could ever make that untrue

When I’m far away

I’ll reach through time and space

When you hear the wind

You’ll hear me saying

I love you forever

Fast forward our love story. I still remember that day. Her small precious face. You stared into her eyes. Hypnotized by her smile. But your job meant you had to travel. But we weren’t ready for you to go. You held our daughter with a sad sort of smile. Said while we’re apart I want you to know that…

You’ll be holding me

And I’ll be holding you

Through those long nights

My love will be pulling you through

When you see the stars

Pretend they’re my arms

When you feel the air

That is me kissing you there

Say you love me

And I will say I love you

No distance could ever make that untrue

When I’m far away

I’ll reach through time and space

When you hear the wind

You’ll hear me saying

I love you forever

God forbid there’ll come a day. When the light in my eyes fades away. But from your hearts I will not go. No bounds shall my spirit know, cause.

You’ll be holding me

And I’ll be holding you

Through those long nights

My love will be pulling you through

When you see the stars

Pretend they’re my arms

When you feel the air

That is me kissing you there

Say you love me

And I will say I love you

No distance could ever make that untrue

When I’m far away

I’ll reach through time and space

When you hear the wind

You’ll hear me saying

I love you forever

by Jewel

YES!

LaurenKatherine — Sat, 02 May 2009 05:01:24 +0000

Pearl Jam to preform at ACL 2009!!! I could not be more excited. go get your tickets!!!

xxLL

ps where did April go?? …a sign of age?

After going to college for 3 ½ years I learned one thing:

LaurenKatherine — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 23:42:04 +0000

School…has never been for me. I don’t ever remember liking school. I’m not sure I have always hated it the way I do now but I’m pretty sure I NEVER liked it. As the spring semester of 2009 began I decided I was NOT going to go back. Mid way through fall ’08 I was studding for a Biology exam and seriously wished I was dead instead of studding. I don’t and won’t live my life that way. I dropped the class and finished out the semester.

I grew up in Westlake, and for those of you who know the community and school, going to college isn’t even a question. Westlake has one of the lowest dropout rates and pretty sure one of the highest high school to college ratios in the country. (Don’t quote me on this but I’m pretty sure, its got to be up there) I never thought about not going to college. Once Jr. year started it was nothing but picking out colleges and studding for the SAT. I was excited about going to college; my dad had agreed to let me go to a school in California, my dream since we had moved from Cali. I was excited to finally move out, be on my own, live in a dorm, meet new friends and move on with my life. School in Cali didn’t work out so I came back to the prestigious University of Texas, hook’em (I still got Texas pride!). While in Cali I decided being a lawyer wasn’t for me and that I wanted to work in the fashion industry. I love fashion, always have and as far as I can see always will. UT had an apparel program so that’s what I was going to major in. Textiles and Apparel with an emphasis in Retail Merchandise and a minor in Business Foundations. Now here starts my rant on the Textiles program and what drove my hatred of school. For reasons beyond my knowledge the Textiles program is in the school of Natural Science at UT. This wouldn’t be that big of a deal if the degree requirements weren’t so absurd. We are required to take Chem 1 and 2 and a chem lab, Bio 1 and 2, and calculus all FOR MAJORS. For those of you that don’t know what that means; the classes are freaking hard! We don’t get to take the general chem and bio classes we are taking the ones pre med and bio chemist take!

Typical first day of class conversation:

Student A: Hey, so what are you studding to be?

Student B: I’m studding to be a doctor; I’m thinking a heart surgeon. How about you?

Student A: I wanna work in retail. Hopefully have my own line someday. Be a buyer or just have my own little boutique.

Student B: Oh…why are you taking this class?

Student A: It’s required. Would you like to study together sometime?

Student B: Uhh…sure…here give me your number, and I’ll call you…

Student B inter-monolog: (…no way in heck am I studding with that girl!)

Typical first conversation between student and prof after first test:

Student: Prof. B, I tried really really hard and I don’t know why I did so bad. I studied everyday and I still failed.

Prof: maybe you should think about switching majors. Being a doctor isn’t for everyone. What do you want to do with your life.

Student: I wanna sell clothes.

Prof: oh, why are you taking this class?

Student: I have too.

Prof: oh, guess you just got to try a little harder then.

Don’t get me wrong, I get that you can’t just breeze though college. It takes effort and endurance. But people that want to work in fashion and people that want to heal others don’t use the same part of their brain. I can promise you there are geniuses out there that no matter how hard they tried couldn’t make it in the fashion world. And that’s where I am. No matter how hard or long I study I am NEVER going to get it. I spent close to $3000 on tutoring for calculus. Did I learn anything, no, did I pass, yes…but I’m pretty sure my teacher just felt bad. My science teachers weren’t as nice.

My textiles classes weren’t any better. Sure they weren’t as hard, they were a joke! Just to give you an idea, in one class we watched a “documentary” on retail everyday. We had 2 projects that took one class day each and was performed in groups. We took one test because the university required that she administer a test, it was done in groups, open book, open note, the notes were ones that she gave us and what was on the test was circled in the notes! To give you an idea of the professor’s mentality: twice I didn’t turn in projects that were worth at least 25% of my grade and I still received an A in the classes.

After going to college for 3 ½ years I learned one thing: college is not for me, right now. I was learning nothing at UT. I was simply going thought the motions of a student. I think one day I might go back but my mind set must first change. Right now I see a degree as an $80,000 piece of paper that has no meaning to me. I’ve got a job that I excel in. I have full benefits. But most importantly I’m happy and enjoying life.

xxLL

Hey there!

LaurenKatherine — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 21:33:32 +0000

Well it’s been a while since I have last blogged and I’m back, for now. A lot has happened since I was last on. I have halted school, possibly found love, gotten a promotion, lost friends, made friends and have never felt more content with my life. Posting to follow.

xxLL

#77 see 101 new movies

LaurenKatherine — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 05:00:07 +0000

24 of 101 watched

Hannah Montana the Movie
I Love You Man
The Watchmen
Burn After Reading
Scooby Doo
The Spirit
Twlight
Let The Right One In
Superbad
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
The Sister Hood of the Traveling Pants
Top Secret
Seven Pounds
In the Land of Women
Pineapple Express
Definitely, Maybe 8.3.08
Fools Gold 7.27.08
The oh! in Ohio 7.21.08
hellboy 7.19.08 not by choice, might be the worse movie i have ever seen…seriously
Along Came Polly 7.12.08
Wanted 7.11.08
Bright Eyes 7.7.08
Bye Bye Birdie 7.5.08 i couldn’t finish it, it was awful, does this count?
Jumper 7.3.08 eh it was ok, i love Rachel Bilson
Thoroughly Modern Millie 7.3.08 omg i loved it!

Two Guilty Pleasures

LaurenKatherine — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 05:46:11 +0000

#1 I am almost 22 and when I woke up yesterday morning (before getting out of my bed) I downloaded Miley Cyrus’s new album Breakout to my phone, then rocked out to her while i got ready and walked to class. omg i love her!

#2 i delayed hanging out with a friend last tonight because i wanted to watch The Secret Life of the American Teenager. omg i love this too!

Not gonna lie, the combination of these two things yesterday made my crappy day better. I am not sure what it is about Miley but i just can’t get enough of her. i openly watch hannah montana and have both of her albums. there is just something about the beat in her music that makes me happy, it never fails. i never really liked pop music when i was younger, guess i’m making up for it now. as far as The Secret Life of the American Teenager goes it might be the worst acting i have ever seen on TV but im addicted. i came home one night and turned on the TV and this show was on. for whatever reason the show drew me in. couldn’t tell you why i like it but i do. its a cross between 7th Heaven and Juno (both of which i love!!!). so what if i have bad taste, whatever entertains right?

update: iphone 3g baffles me

LaurenKatherine — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 05:10:57 +0000

my dad waited 4 additional hours after i left. when he was setting up his service they wouldn’t let him set up a business account in the apple store. only personal accounts maybe set up in store. its funny. the iphone is trying to get more businesses and big companies to switch from their blackberry’s and pda yet they have to go to an att store to get one. but none of the att stores have the iphone, and probably won’t for awhile (my roommate ordered hers and they said she should expect to wait 21 days). seems difficult to draw in the corporate client when they are forcing them to buy from a store that doesn’t get frequent shipments. maybe someone needed to think though this whole release better.

although i will say apple is probably the only company that could release a product with so many glitches in the relesae and still bring in over a million customers in the frist few days. i must give my props. they must be doing something right.

iphone 3g baffles me

LaurenKatherine — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 19:55:05 +0000

last week my dad was having a huge garage sales at my grandmothers old house and his phone was stolen. he had plans to get the iphone on Aug. 5th when his contract with Verizon expired, needless to say that date got moved up. so being the great daughter i am i told him i would go pick an iphoneup for him this morning. apple.com said the mall had them in stock, so great, no big deal right? …they were even opening early. i arrived a little before 9 to a parking lot with an abnormal amount of cars. i went inside and the line was huge.

i get it. it’s the new must have. it’s the tickle-me-Elmo. but all in all it just simply isn’t that different from the first iphone. sure 3g blah blah blah. compare the two phones and i doubt you can tell the difference, heck the old iphone might even beat the new one in a race. but you know what really baffles me… the number of people in line that already had an iphone. why? why? why would you wait for hours in a line for a phone you already have??? yes it might be a littlebit faster, yes it has a GPS device, but that’s all!!!!!! is it really worth your time? does it really make you look that cool? …it’s not, and it doesn’t.

after waiting for 3 hours my dad came and took my place in line. he is still there…